Chapter 104 Exploit

(Trigger warning: Contain act of self-harm)

Ye Zhen fully believe that Zhao Luli, who lost and found her, would definitely treat her as a fragile treasure, but she didn’t expect that providing was just providing, like Emperor Sheng Yuan, he only gave her a house, a vague identity, and then just let her spend the rest of her life like that.

Back then she asked Zhao Luli to marry Guan Suyi in order to prevent the other person from entering the palace, thereby taking away her favor and power. In the end, Guan Suyi did not enter the palace, but she returned to the Zhao family and still had to live under the other person’s hands. Was this the cycle of fate that she could not escape?

Ye Zhen felt a chill all over her body, and she felt both unwilling and resentful, but also fearful and hesitant. Looking at Zhao Luli, who was still immersed in his pain, she finally gritted her teeth and took the silver hairpin on her hair, then stabbed her wrist hard with it. The blood splattered instantly and fell on the other person’s face. The warm liquid carried a strong fishy smell, causing him to suddenly wake up.

“What are you doing?” He took away the silver hairpin, clenched the upper end of the wound tightly, while untangling the filial cloth around his waist to stop the bleeding.

“What am I doing? Of course to die! At that time when I was sent out like a cargo by father-in-law, I should have died. I tried to kill myself several times but rescued every times. The last time I was on the Naihe Bridge, I thought of you and the children in a trance, and thinking about how you would live without me, I struggled to climb up again. I was tormented in that shameful place, suffered bullying, suffered humiliation, and only able to survive by thinking about you and the children every night, and I had to cover my mouth when I dreamed, for fear that I accidentally called your name and caused others to hear it, incite a great disaster. With great difficulty waited until that man get tired of me and let me go, but you told me that everything I’ve done is wrong. Then I, Ye Zhen, am what? What is everything that I gave you? A joke?”

Through the misty tears, she tried to distinguish the expression of her ex-husband, and made sure that he really regretted and felt guilty, and then she felt relieved. Fortunately, Emperor Sheng Yuan still remembered some old feelings, and when he sent her back to the Zhao Mansion, he concealed the scandal of that year, otherwise she would really have nowhere to go.

“What are you stopping me for? If I die, wouldn’t it be as you wished? Wouldn’t everything be resolved? In this life, you can still grow old with Guan Suyi, love each other for a lifetime. I can fulfill you once, twice, naturally I can fulfill you three or four times, I can even give you my life!” Based on her understanding of her ex-husband, she naturally knew where to stab the knife in his heart, so every word was like a sharp blade that had been dipped in poison.

Zhao Luli was the most reluctant to recall the past, and even more hated others for mentioning it, but this person was Ye Zhen. Ye Zhen who almost gave her all up for him, there was no other way but to recognize it.

“Don’t talk anymore, it’s my fault. It’s all my fault. You should live well.” He wrapped her wrist tightly, and when the blood finally stopped, he sat down dejectedly, his heart turned to ashes.

Ye Zhen was always so fragile, occasionally she would stand in front of the window and cry silently when the flowers withered and the leaves flew off. At that time, he felt that she was so pitiful and lovely, and he just wanted to hold her in his hands and protect her, so she would not be hurt in the slightest. But now, when he himself had become a man covered in bruises; when he himself was exhausted and had nowhere to go, taking care of Ye Zhen was like carrying a boulder on his back, the more he walked, the heavier he felt.

He already expected that one day he would be crushed, even crushed to the bones, but he couldn’t throw her away halfway. If Guan Suyi was his salvation, then Ye Zhen was his sin. Since this sin could no longer be rid of, what kind of delusion to get salvation?

His heart was full of despair, but it quickly replaced by perseverance. He wiped off the discomposure expression on his face, stood up and walked out without looking back, “The wound is a bit deep, I will let the doctor handle it. You have a good rest. Since you persevere until now for me and the two children, for the sake of Xi’er and Wangshu, don’t seek death so easily. They waited for a long time for you to come back. If you leave them again, let alone in this life, even in the next life, they will not forgive you.”

Ye Zhen hurriedly nodded and agreed, with a little sadness in her eyes. However, in fact, she had no feelings for the two children at all, so how could she care whether they forgive her or not? But this reminded her that without her husband’s favor, she still gave birth to a pair of children for the Zhao family, this was her foundation! Zhao Chunxi had already been captured by Guan Suyi, and it was not easy to fool her; however, Zhao Wangshu was very close to her and also the heir of the Zhao family.

Just thinking of this, Zhao Wangshu’s worried voice came from outside the door, “Mother, are you feeling better? I sneaked out pretending to go to the restroom to see you, and brought you the famous dish of Jueyin Temple, Susanxian. It’s really delicious.” He ran in with a steaming food container, his face full of admiration.

Ye Zhen pretended to be panic and hid the wound, a sincere smile slowly bloomed on her face. What is the meaning of ‘Heaven never bars people’s waydon’t despair and you will find a way through’? This exactly it.

—-

The morning ceremony finally ended. Guan Suyi was about to stand up when someone grabbed her arm firmly. When she looked up, it was Zhao Luli. As he pulled her up, he bent down and patted her slightly dusty skirt, and said with concern, “I see that you are staggering, your legs and feet should feel numb after kneeling for a long time. You get up slowly, walk slowly, and don’t use too much force, otherwise the skin will be as painful as a pincushion. Your husband will help you go back to soak your feet, and then rub your muscles vigorously with medicinal wine, then you will be much better in the afternoon.”

The soles of Guan Suyi’s feet really felt like stepping on needle felt, tingling so badly that she couldn’t struggle for a while, actually half hugged by him and carried to the west wing.

Jinzi and Minglan hurriedly stepped forward to grab people, but were stopped by the old madam, “You people have no eyesight, the master and the madam have a good relationship, what are you mixing in? Still not send me back yet?”

As soon as she finished speaking, she saw Zhao Wangshu rushing in, and in front of relatives and friends who had not left, he knelt down in front of his stepmother with a thud and begged, “Mom, please allow my mother to return home! In order not to make things difficult for you, she almost cut her wrists to commit suicide just now. Mom, you are always generous and benevolent, can you bear to watch us mother and child to live but not see, live far away from each other? Mom, count me as begging you! I will kowtow to you!”

Guan Suyi held her forehead with her palm and said calmly, “Since you know that I am benevolent, you should know that I will never separate you mother and child. Isn’t she already staying? You go back and take good care of your mother and tell her not to think too much. When your second aunt’s funeral is over, she will be able to go home with you.” She firmly and slowly brushed Zhao Luli away, asked, “Have you hired a doctor for her? Is the wound deep? Never mind, I’ll go and see it for myself.” As she said that, she naturally grabbed Jinzi and Minglan, and stumbled to the east wing.

Zhao Wangshu was overjoyed, hurriedly followed her, but did not notice that the faces of his father, sister, and grandmother had turned pale.

When Guan Suyi personally admitted Ye Zhen, it was equivalent for her to choose to leave; the calmer she was, the firmer her heart became. She was not a difficult person to understand, that’s why she had the charm to make people trust and attach to her. Zhao Luli seemed to have been knocked on with a rod, and the pain was so painful that he almost lost consciousness; the old madam was already dizzy and shaky, and only with Zhao Chunxi’s support she did not fall on the spot.

The relatives and friends didn’t know what to do, they just sighed at Madam Guan’s generosity, again sighed at her complacency, and then slowly dispersed.

One cry, two make a fuss, three hang herself was Ye Zhen’s best trick, how could Guan Suyi take it seriously? After confirming from the doctor’s mouth that her wound was not serious, she left without staying too long.

In the afternoon, many condolence guests poured in to the Jueyin Temple. It was the emperor who suddenly conferred Ruan shi a second-rank grant order and specially given her a posthumous title. Previously, only gifts were given, but at this time the people who have not been there in person have to get off their high horse and send the mistress, or their di sons and grandsons with some faces to come to worship.

They didn’t come in the first few days, but only came now, obviously not willingly, but because of the rules or the power. Guan Suyi would rather they don’t come, but she had no choice but to force a smile, build up her spirits, and deal with them one by one. Among them, there were several declining noble families who were very disrespectful to the Guan family due to their political differences, the womenfolk who were sent had unpleasant faces, arrogant and rude, making Guan Suyi almost had a seizure on the spot.

She recited the scriptures again and again and tried to endure, but found out that they had prepared a generous gift to visit Ye Zhen in the East Wing, as if they want to slap her face hard. After a while, Ye Zhen came slowly, surrounded by many womenfolk, with bloody gauze wrapped around her wrist, her face was as pale as paper, looking a bit pitiful.

Before the ceremony started, they sat down on one side of the mourning hall and spoke softly, just at the volume that the surrounding guests could hear them.

“Everyone talked about righteousness and courage, all I see it’s a ruthless heart and black hand, even the belly of her own sister-in-law can be cut open, is there anything she can’t do? Sister, you are also pitiful, not able to come back earlier, but after she married into the Zhao family. You should be more careful, people who can cut open other people’s stomach, what other ruthless things she cannot do.”

“Saving life then saving life, cutting open the stomach then cutting open the stomach. It’s true that she save the di son of the second house, but it’s also true that her hands are black. If I live under the same roof with such a person, I’m afraid I won’t be able to sleep at night.”

“Where in the world can a woman do such a thing? The grand princess also praised her as the Yao and Shun among women, it’s like comparing her to a tall and burly man, it reminded me of another sentence – no poison, no great man*in here it means, if you can’t be cruel, you can’t be a man. If you think about it, she has the ability to suppress many men. If you don’t believe me, go to the street market and ask, see which man dares to make such a decision. She’s said to be righteous, but how ones to know that at the back her hands were black. Those of us who are soft-hearted should try to stay away from her as much as possible, to avoid one day she cut us open in the name of righteousness.”

“That’s right. When I saw her hands, my heart sank. They had sewed the belly of a dead person. I don’t know what the emperor thought, but he praised her so much and then posthumously conferred Ruan shi. In my opinion he should denounce her and then send her to a village, as a warning for others, lest there are women in the capital who are about to give birth, and then cutting their stomach one by one in order to earn a title. Throughout the ages, the number of women who died from childbirth is countless, so why is only Ruan shi that stand out? The emperor posthumously conferred this one, and in the future, whether you have difficult birth or not, whether you live or die, everyone will cut your stomach with a knife. Then how can us women live? The so-called top moves, under follows*it means subordinates follow the example of their superiors effect is just like this, the emperor did a really bad job this time!” A young woman hugged her shoulders with her trembling hands, her face full of worry.

Gradually, the surrounding guests began to look at Guan Suyi with strange eyes. Saving people was not false, and having black hands was also not false, which was enough to glimpse at this person’s cold heart and firm idea. People need to be careful everywhere when dealing with her. If it’s a friend, that’s fine. If it’s an enemy, the end was doomed to be miserable. And although she saved people, the honor she received was too much. If it mislead some people with wrong minds, in the future, when women had difficult childbirth they could also be cut open, so where they can cry out their grievance?

Thinking like this, Madam Guan doesn’t seem to be the type one can have deep friendships with, indeed needs to stay far away.

Only after a while, there was no one around Guan Suyi. She looked left and right, feeling quite absurd, and walked to Ye Zhen and whispered, “Please everyone keep your voice down, and don’t cause trouble for my Zhao family. His Majesty is high above, but he’s making a great fanfare and stir up the crowd for an ordinary woman, then since you already noticed something is not right, could it be you cannot think deeply? You can go outside without anything, but you can’t be without brain, even more can’t be without controlling your mouth.”

She put her two fingers together, then tapped her forehead, then pressed her lips, and walked away.

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