Chapter 148

 

In the evening, the few pilgrims had already dispersed and the countryside was shrouded in twilight.

A young monk walked out from behind the open gate of the ancient temple. Glancing out toward the wild fields, he was just about to shut the gate when he noticed a group of riders appearing on the road that led from the northern part of the city. It seemed they were headed toward the temple, though he couldn’t tell who they might be, so he paused outside to wait.

Soon, the group of people and horses galloped over. The man at the front had a dignified bearing and an extraordinary presence. The woman beside him was dressed in luxurious robes, a veil hat draping down to conceal her features—her delicate face faintly visible beneath. They looked like a newlywed couple from a prominent Chang’an family, accompanied by attendants, making their way through the countryside on this spring evening.

The young monk assumed, like most who came here, they were here to view the paintings. He stepped forward, cupped his hands in greeting, and began to explain that the temple had already closed for the day, and they would need to return tomorrow. But then the man said, “My surname is Pei. Earlier today, your temple delivered a message to me. I’ve come as arranged.”

The young monk nodded when he heard it: “It turns out it’s Master Pei who has arrived. The head monk had instructed me on this matter. Please come in!”

The man dismounted swiftly and stretched out his arms toward the beauty on horseback.

She seemed impatient, and after holding his outstretched hand, she jumped down from the towering horse’s back, her skirt fluttering as she walked into the gate.

The young monk led the way. The man asked when the person who send the message came, and he answered, “He arrived not long ago, only three to four days ago. It is said that he’s an old friend of Master from decades ago. He passed by Chang’an during his travels and came here to stay again.

“Look, there he is.”

As he spoke, the young monk had already led the two of them to the mural wall, pointed in the distance ahead and spoke softly.

Xuyu stopped suddenly and looked ahead.

An old monk stood quietly by, watching another person painting.

It was an elderly man—hair white as frost, wearing a coarse gray hemp robe and cloth shoes on his feet. With his back to Xuyu, he held a paintbrush in hand, and under the last rays of twilight lingering in the temple, he was intently applying touches to the wall mural.

The young monk stopped with her and watched for a moment, then couldn’t help but lower his voice and say, “This old benefactor said the mural has long been neglected, worn by wind and rain. Since his arrival, he’s come each evening after the pilgrims have left, while the place is quiet, and uses his brush to restore the flaking parts—stopping only when night falls. What’s strange is, our master usually guards this mural like it’s as precious as the Buddha himself, yet he hasn’t tried to stop him. And it’s the oddest thing—the parts he’s restored show not the slightest trace of being newly added. It all looks as though it was always that way. If I hadn’t passed by and watched every day, I honestly wouldn’t know where he’s done the work at all!”

From a distance, Xuyu’s eyes began to turn red.

Pei Xiaoyuan glanced at her secretly and gave a meaningful glance at the young monk.

The young monk understood and was about to go and announce their presence, but he saw the old man’s hand holding the brush paused in the air. Then, he slowly turned around, put the brush on the work table beside him, relaxed his brows, and waved at Xuyu.

“Girl, you’re here too? Grandpa has come to Chang’an to see you.” He said with a smile.

“Grandpa!”

Xuyu cried with joy, lifted the veil covering her face, ran forward, and threw herself into Ye Zhongli’s arms.

Ye Zhongli smiled, patted her back gently, and whispered to comfort her, telling her not to cry.

Xuyu pretended not to hear at first, but after a moment, she suddenly wiped her eyes, burst into laughter, took Ye Zhongli’s hand, and was about to walk out with him.

“Grandpa, please come with me! You’re not going anywhere from now on, and I will never let you go again!”

Ye Zhongli did not move.

He stood still and smiled, “Silly girl, Grandpa came here just to see you. Just seeing you, Grandpa is already satisfied.”

“Grandpa!”

Xuyu held his sleeves tightly with both hands, stubbornly refusing to let go.

Pei Xiaoyuan had been silently watching from behind. Now, after a brief hesitation, he stepped forward and stopped beside her. Facing Ye Zhongli, he offered a respectful junior’s salute and said, “This junior, Pei Xiaoyuan, pay respect to Lord Ye. Years ago, I had the honor of meeting you in Hexi, but I was young and ignorant at the time, blind to the presence of a true master, and missed the chance to learn from you. Today, I am fortunate enough to meet you again. If Lord Ye would grace my humble home and allow me the privilege of listening to your teachings, it will be my great honor.”

He paused, then added “Besides, the Princess has long yearned to see her kin. Now that Lord Ye has come to Chang’an, how can she feel at ease if she’s not given a chance to show even a little filial piety?”

“Grandpa!”

Xuyu echoed his words, nodded vigorously, and looked eagerly at the opposite side.

Ye Zhongli looked at Pei Xiaoyuan, took a look at him, and said with a smile: “Are you the young master of the Pei family? I recognized you at a glance just now. If I’m correct, you’re now the prince consort of this girl, right? Why are you still so distant? Shouldn’t you also follow her and call me Grandpa?”

Pei Xiaoyuan glanced at her quietly and bowed solemnly again.

This time, he knelt down to show his respect and gratitude to the old man who raised her.

“Xiaoyuan pay respect to Grandpa!” he changed his words.

“Get up! Get up quickly!”

Ye Zhongli stepped forward to help him up, looking at the couple standing side by side in front of him, his expression was extremely relieved, and a little emotional. He smiled and nodded, saying fine repeatedly.

“Grandpa, if you don’t want to enter the palace again, I dare not force you. How about you stay at our house? There are not many people there, and it won’t disturb Grandpa’s peace and quiet.”

Xuyu finally calmed down from the excitement of their previous meeting and changed her tone to persuade him.

Ye Zhongli waved his hand, walked to the work table, and started to organize his painting tools. Pei Xiaoyuan stepped forward and wanted to do it for him, but was stopped by him, who pointed at Xuyu, “Look, that girl didn’t even try to snatch it from me. She knows that I always pack my own painting tools.”

Indeed, she didn’t rush to do it, so he had to give up.

Ye Zhongli washed his brushes leisurely, saying, “After I came here, I saw that this old mural had suffered some damage, so I came by in the evenings when no one was around to add a few strokes. In my opinion, whether a painting survives or fades, what does it matter? Princes and nobles will eventually turn into dirt on Mount Mang (royal tombs of Wei and Jin dynasty), not to mention a few paintings. Best to let things follow their natural course. But the old monk here is fond of it, so I honored his wish. It’s a small gesture in return for how he once protected these paintings. Still, in these later years, I’ve been far less diligent than I was in my youth—rarely putting brush to paper. In art, if you don’t advance, you fall behind; what isn’t practiced, withers. I only hope these strokes I’ve added won’t disappoint the old monk.”

The old monk who had been watching his work laughed and pressed his palms together in a gesture of respect, easing the mood. But Xuyu, hearing this seemingly casual remark from her grandfather, was reminded of the incident many years ago when the emperor had a misunderstanding about her mother and implicated his beloved disciple Ding Baiya, and she could not help but remain silent.

At this time, Ye Zhongli had also finished packing. He bowed to the old monk, turned to the two of them and said, “Girl, and Pei family’s boy, follow me. I have a few words to say.”

The old monk clasped his hands together again and left. Pei Xiaoyuan also returned the salute, and then followed Ye Zhongli and her to his temporary residence in the back of meditation hall. Ye Zhongli asked the two to sit down, before followed suit as well.

Dusk and night merged, and the light penetrating the wooden window became dim and hazy. Ye Zhongli did not speak at first, as if he was lost in some kind of contemplation. After a moment, his eyes fell on Xuyu’s face, who was waiting for him to speak, and smiled: “Girl, Grandpa found you in the Yong’an Hall that was blazing with fire, thinking that you had strayed into the palace while looking for someone. But I didn’t expect that you had such an identity. Two years ago, after we separated, Grandpa heard some news about the Princess’ return to the court, and only realize then that it was you. Grandpa was relieved, but also very guilty…

“Girl, you are very intelligent. You’ve been wandering around with Grandpa since you were a child. Although Grandpa has never told you, you should know that Grandpa has been looking for someone. In the past two years, Grandpa has been doing this alone—”

He looked at Xuyu, still with a smile on his face, but his eyes were full of guilt and regret.

“Grandpa has let you done. This whole time Grandpa has never found Grandpa’s former apprentice, Ding Baiya. Because of that, Empress Zhaoyi still bears the stain of false accusations, and her name remains unvindicated even to this day.”

“Grandpa!”

Xuyu called softly, but Ye Zhongli waved his hand to stop her.

“Girl, listen to me. The reason Grandpa met you in Yong’an Hall back then was actually because of Baiya. At that time, Grandpa had already been away from Chang’an for several years, but he had stayed behind. Suddenly, the whole country was in chaos, and Grandpa was worried about him, so I rushed to Chang’an again. Unexpectedly, the situation was more serious than expected. When Grandpa arrived, Chang’an was no longer safe and fell into the hands of the rebels.

“In the past two years, Grandpa has increasingly felt that Baiya may not have fled Chang’an. Or, it’s very likely that he had already died in the chaos that destroyed the city. It’s just that Grandpa doesn’t know where his body is now. That’s all.”

Speaking until here, his expression became extremely gloomy.

Darkness completely enveloped this simple room in the ancient temple.

In the silence that could hardly conceal the sadness, Pei Xiaoyuan quietly stood up, walked silently, and lit a kerosene lamp.

Within the warm glow of the dim light, the sadness on Ye Zhongli’s face gradually faded away.

“However, Grandpa couldn’t find him that day, but instead found you. Heavens has been kind to Grandpa, and had you accompany Grandpa for many years.”

He continued, his expression turning relieved again.

“Girl, two years ago, when Grandpa entrusted you to Pei Ji, my original intention was to entrust him with your life. It seems that the two of you were destined by fate—though it didn’t work out at the time, your paths eventually led you back to each other, and in the end, you still became husband and wife. When Grandpa was away, Grandpa heard about your wedding, and felt gratified. At that time Grandpa though that I had to come to Chang’an again no matter what. Now that my wish has come true and I have seen you two again, Grandpa has nothing else to ask for.”

“Grandpa, if you won’t stay, where are you going?”

Xuyu knelt down in front of him and asked with tears in her eyes.

Ye Zhongli raised his hand and stroked her soft black hair, then helped her up from the ground with a smile.

“Don’t be sad. Just being able to see you with my own eyes and knowing that you’re living well—this, to Grandpa, is worth more than anything else in the world. From now on, Grandpa can truly live like a carefree crane among the clouds, with any worries. When the painting here is finished, Grandpa will go to see Xiaoyuan’s uncle, have a good laugh at his white hair and weary body—still trapped in his ceremonial robes and unable to free himself. After that, Grandpa will wander wherever I please. And when the day comes that Grandpa truly can no longer walk, Grandpa will return to the place where we once lived.”

“Grandpa!”

Even though she had long known that the world is filled with disappointment, that perfect happiness lasts but a moment and that waning is the natural state of the moon—she had accepted that even those dearests to her could not stay past a hundred years. Still, when parting words once again sounded in her ears, she could not help but feel endless sorrow.

“Since Grandpa was a child, Grandpa has no idea where Grandpa came from, but fortunately Grandpa has a place to go. In the future, if you really miss Grandpa, you can bring Xiaoyuan and your children to visit Grandpa there again, how about that?”

Ye Zhongli said with a smile.

On the way back, she was no longer in a hurry like when she came. The night wind kept blowing the veiled hanging in front of her, but she seemed to be unaware and said nothing. Pei Xiaoyuan rode quietly beside her, never far away nor too close.

After entering the palace, she came to a fork in the path leading to her palace and the Dongnuan Pavilion. A palace eunuch from Dongnuan Pavilion was waiting there. When he saw her, he hurried forward to salute and asked if he could turn off the lights in the pavilion.

In the evening, she put down her brush and left in a hurry, leaving memorials and other things still piled up there. Now she was reminded that today’s work had not yet finished.

She paused for a moment, then took a step forward, as if about to turn toward Dongnuan Pavilion, but a hand reached out from behind and gently grasped her wrist, stopping her from moving forward.

“Turn off the lights. The Princess will go tomorrow.” Pei Xiaoyuan ordered the palace eunuch.

The palace eunuch glanced at Xuyu quietly, then immediately nodded and bowed before leaving. Pei Xiaoyuan let go of her hand and rolled up the veil that was still covering her face, revealing her face.

Beside the palace path, within the stone lantern’s head, a dim light glowed. Though faint, it could not fully conceal the faint blue circles under her eyes.

“You must be tired. Go back and rest early tonight.”

She lowered her gaze, neither answering nor resisting, allowing him to take her hand once more and lead her back to her palace.

Pei Xiaoyuan gave a few words of instruction to He shi, who understood at once and quickly took the wet nurse and attendants to another room in the palace with Xiao Hu’er in tow. He led her to the bedside, gently removed her outer robes and shoes, and once she lay down, he said softly, “Sleep well. I’ll go put Xiao Hu’er to bed.”

He covered her with the quilt, lowered the curtain, and was about to go out when he suddenly heard a whisper coming from inside the canopy.

“Don’t go.” The voice was soft and gentle, and seemed to contain some pleading.

Pei Xiaoyuan was stunned, then he took off his coat and put it next to her clothes.

He leaned sideways and gently stepped inside the canopy, lying beside her.

As soon as he lay down, she leaned towards him, buried her face in his arms, and cried silently. Slowly, she became quiet and motionless, as if she had fallen asleep.

The palace clock sounded one after another. The shadow of the spring moon slowly climbed up the eaves and red rafters of the palace.

“I can’t sleep. I want to go to Yong’an Hall to have a look.”

Suddenly, her whispers were heard deep in this quiet bedroom.

Pei Xiaoyuan opened his eyes.

“Alright.” He responded immediately, got up from the bed, and rolled up the curtains. He put on his clothes, put a cloak for her to keep warm, then took her hand and quietly walked out of the bedroom.

The spring moon shone quietly on the ruins of the Yong’an Hall. Under the dim moonlight, all one could see were broken walls and ruins. A few black little animals that looked like wild foxes or racoon dogs were startled by the noise of the two people coming, jumped out from the darkness, and scattered in all directions.

“That night, this hall had not yet burned down. I remember I was in that corner—” Xuyu leaned beside him and pointed to a broken wall at the front.

“I couldn’t find a way out. There was fire all around me. I could only cry and cry non-stop. Grandpa then ran over and carried me out…”

A gust of night wind blew by, stirring up large patches of spring weeds that had just sprouted from the cracks in the remaining rocks. The rustling sound was incessant, adding to the feeling of infinite desolation.

Pei Xiaoyuan remembered those days. After his father put on his armor and left home again, he and his mother returned to their ancestral home in Hedong. He imagined the scene that the little girl who was still in Chang’an experienced that day, and his heart filled with deeper gratitude toward the old man they had met at the ancient temple this evening.

This place was too desolate. He didn’t want her to dwell any longer in sorrow.

“Let’s go back.” he coaxed.

“Seeing Grandpa again is something worth celebrating. Tomorrow, when you’re free, I’ll go with you—and we’ll bring Xiao Hu’er along too. If he sees Xiao Hu’er, I’m sure he’ll be happy. And if he’s happy, maybe he’ll agree to stay a bit longer.”

She seemed moved by his words and nodded.

“Alright.” She answered him.

Pei Xiaoyuan smiled slightly. But when he was about to accompany her away, there was a strange noise behind him.

Another wild fox jumped out from under a ruined wall a dozen zhang behind him. Its shadow flashed under the moonlight before it disappeared.

His eyes swept across the ruins from afar. After a slight hesitation, he told her to wait, walked over, climbed up the rocks, and finally saw clearly a white foreign object that the wild fox had dragged with it when it came out of the hole.

It was a white strip embedded in the cracks of the stone.

He picked it up and examined it under the moonlight for a moment, frowning slightly. Then he crouched down and looked closely at the hole that had been dug out from beneath the pile of rocks by the wild animal.

It was pitch black below and nothing could be seen.

“What’s wrong? What did you find?” Xuyu walked over and asked him.

“A bone. It appears to be human.”

Pei Xiaoyuan turned around and responded.

“Perhaps there’s someone buried underneath. Over the years, the remains were taken out by wild animals and left outside.”

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