Chapter 135 Part 2

 

He loosened the reins of his horse, stopped by the side of the road, raised his head slightly, and looked across the long, dimly lit archway under the city gate.

Behind the archway was a straight street leading to the imperial palace. At this moment, the street was empty, with only snow flying all over the sky.

While waiting, he suddenly felt confused and wavered.

When hesitating, a surprised voice called out from behind: “Master!”

He turned around and saw Li Hui and Guo Guo’er.

The two of them were riding on horses, with several attendants, and seemed to be just leaving the city. They hurriedly urged their horses to hurry towards him.

Pei Xiaoyuan smiled and dismounted to stand by the road. The two of them came closer and saluted him.

Pei Xiaoyuan nodded and asked why they were still here at this time.

“Just now we were actually heading to the camp to find you, Master! We came by during the day, but you weren’t there, and we couldn’t wait. We guessed that you’d be here around this time, but didn’t expect to actually run into you! Where are you going, Master? Guo Guo’er and I want to see you off.” Li Hui said, his expression a mix of joy and regret. He handed over a huge bulging leather bag, saying that it was full of various pills he had looted from the Imperial Hospital. There were all kinds of medicines, there were wound medicine and antidotes for poisons and burns, also stuff for headaches, fevers, diarrhea, dysentery.

“My sister saw it and called me an idiot—said no one gives this kind of thing as a gift, that it’s unlucky. But I just thought… Even though there’ll be army medics, what if you get a headache or something? In a place like that, it’s always better to have some medicine on hand…”

Perhaps because Li Wanwan laughed at him, he seemed a little uneasy.

“If…if it’s not appropriate…then I’ll take it back…”

Pei Xiaoyuan laughed loudly, patted him on the shoulder, took it and hung it on the saddle, and then said: “You are very thoughtful. Thank you very much.”

Li Hui breathed a sigh of relief and said hurriedly, “I saw there was another bottle of whale cream, so I brought it over. It’s the best for moisturizing the skin. The imperial physician is obviously about the same age as my grandfather, but his face is very smooth. He must have used it secretly. It’s freezing there. If Master’s face, hands and feet are chapped, it would be best to rub it with this.”

He did not mention that the whale cream was precious. At first, the imperial physician refused to let go of it until he said that he would give it to the princess.

Of course, what he didn’t dare say aloud was the deeper worry in his heart—something he and his sister had secretly discussed and reached an unspoken agreement about: Master’s hand was injured, and the position of Prince Consort now seemed precarious, perhaps even already hollow in name. If he went off to war and came back with his most proud and prized face ruined… they feared that perhaps his aunt would truly cast him aside.

Pei Xiaoyuan paused for a moment, then smiled and replied with a soft “Alright.”

Li Hui repeatedly told him to use it, then let out a long sigh, “Master, you’re off to war, and I really wanted to follow you. But not only my mother, but also my grandfather doesn’t agree, so I have no choice. But Guo Guo’er also wants to go, why doesn’t Master let him go? That’s another reason we came—to ask if you’d take him with you!”

Guo Guo’er knelt down and begged.

In fact, it was not just Guo Guo’er. In just one day today, countless other young men who were eager to go with him had also poured in from various guards, but they were all rejected by him.

Going out of the pass to kill the Hu people and establish meritorious service had always been the fantasy of countless young men who grew up in Chang’an. Compared to such a vision, even the campaign to quell the southwest rebellion seemed to pale in splendor. Just like those cheerful townsfolk he’d passed earlier that day, loudly speculating when the imperial army would triumph and return in glory, their imaginations painted the battlefield beyond the frontier as a romantic canvas: ten thousand li of war horses charging forth, gleaming blades flashing cold in the sun, feasting on fine wine in luminous goblets, shouting toasts in the face of death, brothers-in-arms bound by life and death, riding hard with drawn blades to claim noble rank.

The real battlefield, however, was far too distant from such illusions. He had seen many young men—full of confidence in their strength and bravery, some even having taken lives before—collapse in terror when faced with true war, trembling and unable to rise, even turning and fleeing. To take them along would only be a burden.

As for the young man in front of him, even if he was different from others, Pei Xiaoyuan would not take him into danger. He said no.

He spoke firmly. The two boy opposite had no choice but to look at each other and give up reluctantly.

Pei Xiaoyuan glanced at the sky and urged the two to return. Li Hui agreed and said goodbye reluctantly, hoping that he would come back soon. Pei Xiaoyuan promised each request with quiet assurance. Just as Li Hui turned to leave, he suddenly seemed to remember something. After a moment’s hesitation, he asked, “Master, where are you going?”

Pei Xiaoyuan said vaguely that he had an appointment with someone and was waiting here.

“Master, you are leaving soon. Aren’t you going to visit Aunt?” Li Hui stammered, “She not only has a shoulder injury, but also a cut on her wrist. It must be very painful…”

Pei Xiaoyuan’s heart skipped a beat and he asked what he meant. Li Hui then told him how he had gone after her but was stopped by Zhang Dunyi and how she had to cut her wrist with a knife before she could rush back that night.

Pei Xiaoyuan was stunned for a long time without answering, and suddenly came to his senses and just told the two to enter the city as soon as possible. Li Hui had no choice but to leave in dismay.

After watching the two figures disappear, he stayed there quietly for a while, and then entered the city gate at the last moment when the evening drum stopped beating as it got dark.

He went outside the palace alone, called out the palace eunuch Zhang Shun, and asked him to convey a message to the princess on his behalf, requesting an audience.

He waited in the snow for a long time before he saw Zhang Shun hurried out.

She was not in Ziyun Palace, nor was she in her resting palace. Zhang Shun even went to look for her in Yuyun Tower, but couldn’t find her either.

It was said that she seemed to have left the palace from city passage in the evening, and no one knew where she went.

“Or… how about Prince Consort return first? The army had gone to march today, and the Princess must be busy… This servant will be on guard for Prince Consort, and when the Princess return, this servant will immediately pass on the message…”

Zhang Shun said carefully.

The snow, mixed with the cold wind, fluttered on his face like clumps of torn cotton wool.

He came out in such a hurry that he forgot to wear his snow hat. Just now he waited for a long time, and the white snow on top of his hair gradually melted on his slightly warm forehead and turned into icy water, which flowed down his neck and deep under his collar.

That night at Yuyun Tower, though neither of them had spoken it aloud, the moment she opened the door for him, they had already understood each other’s hearts.

He chose to left her.

She, too, would not try to stop him. She would never again, as she did that night, reveal the tender, girlish side of herself before him—would not ask him to kiss her again, or ask whether he still liked her.

As noble as she was, now all but a regent in name, her days were already overflowing with matters of the country. How could she possibly have even a sliver of attention left to spare for him?

She didn’t hesitate to cut her wrists to come back, and risked her life to block the sword for him, just out of kindness. Because she didn’t want the son of a general who had died in battle to continue to die at the hands of her father.

Pei Xiaoyuan looked at his ugly and horrifying severed finger and came to his senses completely.

“No need to bother the Princess. It’s fine.”

He mounted his horse, pulled the reins, urged it gently, turned around, and left the palace.

He braved the snow all the way out of the city and returned to the camp. The journey was uneventful, save for a brief stop at the gates where the sentries informed him that Gu Twelve had returned earlier to ask for leave—said he wouldn’t be back tonight, but swore on his life he’d return before the fifth watch and wouldn’t delay the march.

Pei Xiaoyuan said he understood and continued inside. He handed the reins of his horse to a waiting attendant, then stepped through the thick, crunching snow—already up to his boots—making his way back to his quarters.

When he reached the door, he paused as he raised his head.

The broken part of the injured finger also twitched slightly.

He remembered that when he came out, it was not yet dark and there were no lights in the house. However, at this moment, there was a faint yellow light coming from behind the doors and windows, and it looked… full of warmth, as if someone was waiting inside.

He calmed his heart which was suddenly beating faster, took slow steps, and finally reached the door. He raised his arm hesitantly, and was about to push the door gently when he heard a clattering sound of footsteps in the room. The door creaked open and a round head popped out.

“It turns out that Master is back!”

Qingtou’s eyes lit up and he smiled happily. He rushed out quickly to grab the whip that was still wrapped around his palm.

“Master, come in quickly! It’s snowing heavily outside!”

Pei Xiaoyuan didn’t move. He stood outside the door silently for a while, and finally stepped in.

Qingtou hung up his horsewhip and started to help him take off his outer coat. He touched the wet collar of his inner clothes and shouted, “Oh! Your clothes are wet! It’s such a cold day! Master, go and change quickly! I’ll get you clean clothes.” Then he hurried to untie his bag.

Pei Xiaoyuan felt tired and exhausted. Not only did his hands hurt, but his head also started to throb. He endured his irritability and asked him why he came here.

“Of course I want to go with you! Wherever you go, I’ll go! He Amu even asked me to bring you some winter clothes.”

Pei Xiaoyuan said nothing more. He walked over to the brazier in silence and sat down, beginning to remove his heavy boots, caked with snow and mud. Qingtou came with clean clothes. As Pei Xiaoyuan changed, Qingtou took his boots, carried them to the door, crouched down, and began brushing off the filth clinging to the boot. While doing so, he spoke up: “Guess what—the Princess came home this evening. And not just that, you know what else—”

He paused on purpose, glancing over his shoulder. Sure enough, his master had halted mid-motion, his hands still holding his robes and turned to look at him. Pleased at having caught his attention, Qingtou grinned and finally revealed, “She stayed for dinner! Told everyone to just carry on as usual like before—said to keep house well while waiting for our master to return victorious. And she said if she finds the time, she’ll come again. Only then did she leave. Everyone finally breathed easy again!”

Pei Xiaoyuan froze.

“And then!”

Qingtou continued, “Before she left, the Princess also told me to pass on a message—if you have time tonight, go to the Wei River, to the spot where you used to offer sacrifices to the General and Lady Cui. Someone wants to see you off.

“Who could it be… on such a freezing night, asking to meet out there of all places…” he muttered.

Pei Xiaoyuan didn’t move.

“Master, lift your feet!” having finished cleaning the boots, Qingtou crouched again, holding one out to help him put it back on.

Pei Xiaoyuan suddenly reacted, snatched it away, put it on himself. He then straightened up, quickly covered himself with clothes, and after getting dressed, he took off the horsewhip, opened the door and strode out.

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