Chapter 79 Part 1

 

After Han Kerang left, Pei Xiaoyuan did not leave immediately. Under the cover of the dark night, he stood alone for a while, trying to make the blockage in his chest gradually dissipate a little, and took a deep breath. Thinking about it, he was about to leave when he suddenly heard someone hesitantly called, “Master?”

Looking up, he saw Li Hui coming. He was standing under a lantern at the intersection ahead, looking over here.

He immediately dispelled all distracting thoughts in his mind, walked towards him, and asked with concern: “It’s getting late, why don’t you go back and rest?”

After the banquet, Li Hui looked for him everywhere. When he got nearby, he asked a Jinwu guard and was told that the person had gone in that direction. His search for lead him to this intersection, where he vaguely saw a figure standing alone in a dark corner like a wooden sculpture. The figure looked a bit like his master, but he was not sure, so he did not dare to go up to him at first. He just called out tentatively, and found that it was indeed him. He hurriedly ran to meet him and said that he was looking for him.

“Master, why are you standing here alone? Are you waiting for someone?”

Li Hui looked around and said, “If Master has something to do, then I will go. I don’t want to disturb Master’s work.”

“It’s nothing.” Pei Xiaoyuan explained, “I just passed by the area and saw that it was dark without any light. I was afraid that it would not be good for the night guards, so I came to inspect it.”

He finished speaking, smiling, “Do you have something to tell me?”

Li Hui immediately reached behind his waist and eagerly pulled out the round fan that had been tucked into his belt: “Master, you saw it in the hall tonight, right? This is what the princess gave me. Master, look!”

Afraid that Pei Xiaoyuan couldn’t see clearly due to insufficient light, Li Hui held the fan right under his nose and said, “This painting was painted by my aunt herself! There’s even her inscription on it!

“She gave everyone else scent bags and embroidery bags, but only gave me this fan that she painted herself! Even Prince Kang didn’t have it!

“And, and, and! My nickname is Banzianother name for tiger. My mother gave me this nickname after she gave birth to me, hoping that I would grow up strong and healthy like a tiger. Master, look, what is drawn on it? It’s a little tiger! Could it be that Aunt Princess knew my nickname and drew it for me?”

Pei Xiaoyuan used the lighting of the lanterns at the intersection to see that on the silk fan, there was indeed a painting of a small tiger, climbing up the steep mountain, and howling at the sky. The tiger in the painting was not as big and strong as an adult tiger, and its head seemed a bit childish, but it looked like a king, howling at the sky with its head raised, making all the beasts tremble.

His disciple was still eagerly awaiting his response.

Pei Xiaoyuan nodded and said, “That must be it. The princess must have specially painted it for you, encouraging you to climb the rugged path and achieve accomplishment in the future.”

Li Hui was overjoyed when his idea was confirmed by his master. He nodded and said, “Disciple will keep it in mind.” After that, he happily put the round fan back on his waist, then took out a piece of manuscript paper from his lapel, unfolded it and asked Pei Xiaoyuan to take a look at it again.

“Didn’t His Majesty say that everyone should submit a poem tonight? I also wrote one. Master, do you think it’s okay?”

Pei Xiaoyuan took another look and saw that it was a palace-style poem that read:

“The verdant peaks of Cangshan shine on crimson towers. Her jeweled coiffure gleams, touching the purple clouds.
From the ninth heaven descends the goddess. The jade throne flourishes, radiant under sun and moon.”

“How about it? Master, do you think I’m flattering too much?”

Seeing Pei Xiaoyuan looking down at his poem without saying anything for a long while, Li Hui’s initial excitement slowly cooled down. He scratched his ear and said with a little trepidation.

Pei Xiaoyuan came to his sense.

He was distracted just now. Because of Li Hui’s poem, he remembered her appearance at the banquet tonight.

From the first day he realized that she was a princess, he knew she was someone with extremely noble status that he could never reach.

However, it was not until yesterday, when he saw her appear in front of the crowd in her gorgeous attire and ceremonial robes as a princess, that he truly realized what it meant to be so close at hand and yet so far away and unattainable.

Meeting Li Hui’s self-reflective gaze with a hint of shame, Pei Xiaoyuan withdrew his thoughts, handed the manuscript back to his disciple, and said with a smile: “No. You wrote well. She…”

He paused, then changed his title, “The princess is indeed like a goddess descending to the mortal world, and she deserves any praise.”

Li Hui heaved a sigh of relief upon hearing this and immediately brightened up again, nodding his head vigorously in agreement: “Exactly, exactly. That’s the way it should be. What she said tonight, rejecting the Chang’an Magistrate’s interpretation of omens, has touched my heart even more! If our holy dynasty, from top to bottom, inside out, and especially those court officials who spend their days holding ivory tablets and jade scepters, could all embrace such thoughts, then how could our dynasty not prosper and flourish! I haven’t read many books, but I’ve gone through enough historical texts to notice one thing: the collapse of any state or dynasty always begins within its own court, and only then does the rest of the realm follow suit. And the court’s decay almost always starts from the very top. For example, in the history of Liang I read a few days ago, the Liang Dynasty was known for its wealth and luxury, but Hou Jing crossed the river with only a few thousand people and caused it to collapse in one day! That is a distant example. Let’s take the recent one. The chaos in the last years of Jingsheng, in the final analysis, wasn’t it ultimately caused by the old emperor’s indulgence in debauchery and willful blindness, allowing traitors to seize power and villain to run rampant, so that wise and capable ministers like Lord Pei had no place to use their talents and could only leave the court one after another, which eventually led to a tragic change—”

Pei Xiaoyuan reached out and covered Li Hui’s mouth.

“Be careful and don’t let others hear it!” He looked around and whispered.

Li Hui only then realized that he couldn’t say such things in front of others. It was just that he had been holding it in for a long time. When he was in front of his master, he felt that his master was different from others, so he lost his mind for a second and talked of those things. At this moment, his mouth was covered, unable to move, unable to breathe, and only his eyes were turning around.

“Disciple understands.” After he regained his breath, he hurriedly explained, “Just now, I just wanted to say that Aunt Princess is not only beautiful, but also very knowledgeable. I admire her very much!”

For some reason, his disciple’s words stirred up some strange feeling in Pei Xiaoyuan’s heart. A sense of pride quietly blossomed within him, yet it mixed with a slight bitterness and loss. It was as if a delicate and cherished treasure, once his alone, had slipped from his grasp in the blink of an eye. Not only that, but even the memories of having once possessed it now seemed hazy and unreal, like the fading shadow of a dream, dissolving into an ephemeral bubble.

Unwilling to let himself linger in this muddled state, Pei Xiaoyuan shifted the topic to discuss preparations for tomorrow’s hunting trip. Suddenly, he thought of the young man from the Guo family whom she had entrusted to him. After observing for a few days, he felt that the boy had a steady temperament, honest yet sharp-witted. After joining the guards, the boy studied hard every day and made rapid progress. Since he was about the same age as Li Hui and would make suitable companions, Pei Xiaoyuan brought it up, suggesting that the boy be assigned as a riding companion. This way, he could accompany and protect Li Hui during the hunt.

Li Hui had been brought up very strictly by his widowed mother, Lady Xue, and had never had anyone he could play with since he was a child, so he happily agreed.

Pei Xiaoyuan immediately ended the conversation between master and disciple and sent him back to his residence, Yingzhou Palace, to rest. When they arrived at the intersection and were about to part, he saw that Li Hui’s gaze was on him again, as if he wanted to say something but hesitated, so he asked with a smile if there was anything else.

“It’s not like there’s anything wrong…”

Li Hui hesitated for a moment, and quickly glanced around: “Master, tonight there are so many young men vying to ask His Majesty for marriage, and in the end His Majesty asked question like that, even Shizi Yuwen came out, why are you, Master…”

He paused.

“Master, didn’t you and Aunt Princess have a very good relationship in the past?”

Tonight, he saw clearly that when the emperor asked that question, he was not the only one in the banquet hall who secretly glanced at his master. But it turned out that it was not him who came out, which really disappointed Li Hui and made him even more confused.

Pei Xiaoyuan didn’t expect his disciple to say such a thing before leaving. He paused for a moment and then explained, “Hui’er, you misunderstood. I just happened to know her identity earlier than others. In order to protect the princess, I got closer to her, that’s all.”

Li Hui showed great disappointment on his face. After thinking for a while, he felt a little unwilling. He looked at his face and said in a low voice with courage: “Four people came out tonight! I originally thought that it would be great if my aunt can also become Master’s wife…”

Pei Xiaoyuan and his disciple stood opposite each other at the entrance to Yingzhou Palace, choking with silence. Suddenly, the silence was broken by a stir nearby—a mix of women’s voices, some high, some low, interspersed with soft laughter and the faint chime of dangling ornaments accompanying their movements, all carried lightly by the evening breeze. He turned around and saw a group of women coming out of the front of the Yeyue Tower next to Qingrong Palace. They must be the Crown Princess and the Grand Princess who had just come out after visiting her.

He didn’t want her to see him, so he immediately said, “Get in.

“Also, don’t say that kind of thing in front of anyone again.”

He sent Li Hui in and gave him another warning with a serious look.

Li Hui replied in a sullen voice, bowed to him, and turned away. Pei Xiaoyuan waited until his disciple enter the palace gate, then quietly bypassed the Yiyue Tower, took a detour from the side, and left.

Han Kerang was true to his word. Determined to see his favored subordinate shine and bring glory to their unit in the upcoming hunt, he personally took charge of arrangements. As a result, when Pei Xiaoyuan made his rounds, he found no room left for his intervention.

Moreover, no one knew what Han Kerang had said, but all the officer in guard seemed to have change their attitude. Whenever they saw Pei Xiaoyuan, they all smiled and urged him to go to rest. Even Liu Bo became bolder. Although he did not dare to say it clearly, Pei Xiaoyuan felt that the way he looked at him was full of ambiguity, with an expression of “I knew it a long time ago” and “No wonder it is like this”.

This atmosphere in guard made Pei Xiaoyuan feel as if he had returned to the beginning of the year in Weiyuan County. At that time, he just had been told by his uncle that she had broken off the engagement, but when he went out, everyone he met was still talking about his wedding with her.

Although the situation was different, the feeling was similar. How embarrassed he was then, he was doubly embarrassed tonight. And compared to the last time, this time, in addition to the embarrassment, he also felt an indescribable depression.

At last, he to return to his residence to rest.

It was already late, but Qingtou was nowhere to be seen. He must have gone somewhere with He Jin to have a drink and had not returned yet.

Pei Xiaoyuan looked around the empty room and felt that he was indeed quite tired, as if all his essence, blood and vitality had been sucked away by all the things that happened from morning to night. Now he was just a shell of a body.

He did not want to think about anything, as it was useless to think too much. He hoped that he could clear his mind and have a good sleep. Before he lay down on his pillow and closed his eyes, he silently recited a passage from the Heart Sutra in his mind.

Sariputra, this body itself is emptiness, and emptiness itself is this body. This body is not other than emptiness, and emptiness is not other than this body. The same is true of feelings, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness

Sariputra, all phenomena bear the mark of emptiness, neither born nor destroyed, neither defiled nor pure, neither increasing nor decreasing.

The summer night in Cangshan was cool and shaded, and the wisdom of the Heart Sutra was even more profound and wonderful, a beacon for guiding the layperson across the turbulent sea of existence.

Pei Xiaoyuan was a man of wisdom. He slept peacefully, and at last his restless mind seemed to free from the shackles of the flesh and body, soaring like a Pegasus through the serene mountain night. After what felt like an eternity of boundless transformation, he found himself back in the secluded fir forest that once surrounded him like a protective barrier.

He glanced around in confusion, his dreamlike thoughts sluggish and strangely heavy. He vaguely felt that he should be not the only one here, and there was someone else. It was as if a mischievous night spirit, bare-shouldered and rosy-cheeked, caught wind of his musings. When he looked again, the scene changed and turned into the wonderful scene of him and the girl entangled because of a whip that night. She was riding high on the back of Jinwuzhui, while he stood below her. However, she was forced to lean over and bend towards him because he grabbed the whip in her hand and pulled it tightly.

The distance between his and the girl’s face was so close that their foreheads were almost touching, and he could even feel the heat from her shallow breathing on his face.

Kiss it.

If he had only pulled the whip a little harder, he would have been able to capture her cherry lips that he had always fantasized about, always wondering what it tasted like.

For a moment, when he was still struggling between advancing or not, wavering, his heart pounding like thunder, his mouth dry, suddenly, she on horseback actually pressed down an inch towards him, and took the initiative to offer her lips gently.

He had restrained himself time and time again, but at this moment, if he still failed to respond, he might as well forgo the notion of being a man altogether. He no longer cared whether she was the emperor’s daughter or whoever, he instinctively extended his arms and pulled her entire body into his embrace. His mouth found hers, capturing her lips and tongue, and kissed her with unbridled intensity. The moment his lips and tongue met her sweet, warm ones, his chest pounded violently, his soul felt utterly intoxicated, his body trembled, and a searing wave of heat surged uncontrollably through him—

“Ah! It’s so late, I wonder if Master has come back yet?”

Suddenly, at this moment, from somewhere in the gap of the fir forest, there was a sound of footsteps, accompanied by the mumbling of a servant that Pei Xiaoyuan was very familiar with. All the illusions brought by the night wandering spirit disappeared in an instant.

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