Chapter 72

 

After a brief silence, Wei Yinniang slowly raised her hand and took off the veil on her head.

“The release pond was quite lively tonight. I went for a walk and released a few lotus lanterns.” She also smiled while lowering her veil.

“When did Princess come? Blame me. If I had known you were coming, I wouldn’t have joined in the fun.” She walked towards Xuyu and saluted.

Xuyu stood up to greet her, took her hand, stopped her from bowing, and then took her to sit next to her.

“Sister, is your hand alright?”

Wei Yinniang spread out her ten fingers, which had returned to their original delicate and slender appearance, and let her look at them: “I have recovered a long time ago. Later, I received medicine sent by Old Father Zhao. Did Princess tell him to? Old Father Zhao has always taken good care of me, and now that he’s finally back, he’s getting on in years. It’s just a small matter, yet it has kept you all concerned for so long. I truly feel undeserving of such attention.”

“Sister, I’m glad your hand is fine.” Xuyu raised her eyes and her gaze fell on Wei Yinniang’s smiling face.

“Everyone will go to Cangshan in a few days. It’s cooler there than Chang’an, and more importantly, it’s quiet. When I knew about it, the first person I thought of was you. I wanted you to go too, so we can stay there together for a few days. I asked Zhao Bandang to bring you a message. When he came back, he told me, you’re not going?”

“Yes.” Wei Yinniang nodded.

“Princess always thinks of me, and I am extremely grateful. However, it’s really not appropriate for me to go, and I have been feeling tired recently and too lazy to go out again. I appreciate Princess’ kindness. You can go by yourself, and when you get there, you should have a lot of fun, just like going with me.” She said with a smile.

She was unwilling to go with them, which was within Xuyu’s expectations.

“Sister, if you don’t want to go, I won’t force you. But there is something else I want to ask you.”

“Of course! What is it?”

“Sister’s renunciation was also handled by Zhao Bandang himself. He told me that you didn’t ask for anything.

“Sister, you are free now, why do you still choose to stay in this place?”

Wei Yinniang still smiled. She looked around the bedroom and said, “This must have been something Princess asked His Majesty for me, right? I am extremely grateful. I have always wanted to thank Princess in person, and tonight I finally have the chance. Old Father Zhao did say at the time that no matter what I want to do or where I want to go, he could arrange it for me. But I have lived here for many years and I am used to it. This place is like my home, so I don’t want to go anywhere else. It’s also good to be here.”

Xuyu’s eyes were fixed on her face, without saying a word.

“Why is Princess looking at me like that?”

Wei Yinniang smiled, avoided her gaze, and suddenly stood up.

“Look at me. I was so happy to see Princess just now that I didn’t even prepare a cup of tea for you.” As she spoke, she stood up and asked someone to make tea.

“Sister, can you tell me again where you went last night?” Xuyu suddenly spoke.

Wei Yinniang paused and stopped.

Xuyu looked at her back.

“Last night you went to Ci’en Temple anonymously on the pretext of performing a ritual.”

Wei Yinniang remained silent and motionless.

“Sister, I don’t want to lie to you. I’ll tell you the truth.

“Yuan Zhi was monitoring you. You know the reason, so I won’t tell you. I took it upon myself to handle this matter in front of my father, forbidding Yuan Zhi from interfering any further. First, because I guess you hate this man so much, and I don’t want you to be bothered by him anymore. Second, Sister, I genuinely sympathize with Brother Li Yan and you. Otherwise, why would I have saved him when you were raided here last time. I also fully understand his, or perhaps your, feelings and thoughts. It’s because of my father that Brother Li Yan ended up in his situation today, and you, Sister, have lost everything, your family, and even your dignity. And yet, what fault lies with either of you in the first place?”

Wei Yinniang still had her back to her, her figure frozen.

“So, in my case, even if you hate my father, or even if you are my father’s enemy, as long as you haven’t done anything I can’t tolerate, and you are still willing to acknowledge me as your sister, you two will always be my Brother Yan and Sister Wei. But Sister, I won’t hide it from you—”

Xuyu paused and said, “Whether for public reasons or out of personal feelings, I don’t want Master Pei and Brother Li Yan to get close.” She emphasized these words, then stepped forward to stand directly in front of Wei Yinniang, gazing into her slightly reddened eyes.

“So I’m sorry, Sister. After you were free but didn’t want to leave Chang’an, this sad place, I also did what I don’t allow Yuan Zhi to do to you.

“Why is it such a coincidence that Master Pei was at Ci’en Temple to perform a ritual for his mother, and you also quietly went anonymously? Indeed, you used to go to Ci’en Temple, but you never chose the days before or after the Yulan Festival when everyone was scrambling to get a seat. And tonight, releasing lanterns on the release pond—rather than saying it’s to honor departed loved ones, it seems more like going there to join the crowd. Those who genuinely mourn their loved ones—what water can’t hold a lantern? Why must they squeeze into such a place? You’re not that kind of person.

“Sister, is Brother Li Yan back again? Are you helping him contact Master Pei? In fact, they have already met, tonight?”

If Pei Xiaoyuan also wanted to meet Li Yan, the two markets tonight would be the most suitable opportunity and occasion to meet.

After she finished speaking, she stared at Wei Yinniang.

Wei Yinniang’s face was pale, the corners of her eyes were getting redder, and she lowered her eyes without moving, as if she was in a trance.

“Sister, I gradually learned some things about your family after I returned to Chang’an.” Xuyu suddenly said again.

“When the rebellion was finally quelled, the old emperor was bedridden and had not much time left, so my father hurried back to Chang’an. Before he arrived, many people in the court began to persuade the old emperor to depose the crown prince and replace him with my father. I even heard that at that time, it was difficult for Crown Prince Jingsheng to even see the old emperor. Seeing the crown prince fall to this point, he would naturally rebel. As a close confidant of the Eastern Palace, your father was inevitably involved. The crown prince failed, and your family fell into the abyss from then on.

“Sister, it’s only human nature that you don’t want to leave now. The world is so big, where can you go alone? As for me sending you medicine, inviting you to Cangshan, and begged my father to set you free, for you to not calling me a hypocrite, and you wanted to use these small favors I gave you to buy my own peace of mind, that’s already very kind of you.”

Wei Yinniang seemed to be pricked by a needle. She finally raised her eyes and shook her head: “Princess, don’t say that! I know you are different from the others! You are really good!”

Xuyu slowly shook her head: “Sister, I’m not as good as you think. What I’m going to say next may be cruel, cold-blooded and indifferent, but it’s reality.

“My father may indeed have pressured his brothers back then and ordered the death of your father. But if the situation were reversed, and General Shenhu returned to the capital successfully, and Crown Prince Jingsheng ascended the throne, Prince Jingsheng might have been worried about my father’s military achievements and prestige. Then, it might be me, Li Hao’er, or other members of the Zhao or Qian families who would have suffered the disaster, and it would be their daughters who would have entered the imperial music bureau.”

Wei Yinniang stared at Xuyu in a daze.

“I sympathize with Brother Li Yan and you. You were both forced to endure it. As for your fathers and my father, they are different. No matter what they do, they should understand the cost of a double-edged sword. It’s just that in the end, one of them is the winner and the other is the loser, that’s all.

“Sister, if you want to avenge your family at all costs, then you don’t have to answer me. I have no right to stop you from taking revenge on my father. But if you regard Brother Li Yan as your master out of affection and obedience, then I beg you, sister, tell me the truth. Did Pei Er really meet with Brother Li Yan at his invitation?”

Wei Yinniang’s shoulders seemed to tremble slightly.

“Sister! I have no right to stop Brother Li Yan from doing what he wants to do, but if he succeeds in the end, the price must be the displacement of countless people and the destruction of their families. I have been wandering outside since I was a child, and have travelled to many places with Grandpa. Even in a peaceful world, if there’s a year of poor harvest, the people I see have a hard time, but I rarely hear them complain. They just hope that the court can reduce taxes and grain to help them tide over the difficulties, that’s all. Many older people, when talking about the turmoil in the past, are all terrified. For many people in this world, being able to live in peace may be the best thing.”

She walked to the table where she had just sat, and opened a food box she had brought with her under Wei Yinniang’s eyes which were gleaming with tears.

In the box were a few steaming sesame cakes.

“Sister, do you still remember that you used to bring me sesame cakes? At the beginning of the year when I first came to Chang’an, to find you, I passed by that cake shop by accident. The lady who made cakes for us back then is still there. But her family have all died, and she is the only one who returned after the war. Now she is no longer the same as before, and she can only babble to me about her tragic experiences in the past. But…”

Xuyu picked up a cake.

“Her cooking skills are still about the same as before. Although she complained that nowadays, everyone in Chang’an goes to eat the sesame cakes made by a young and beautiful Hu woman, and no one else is willing to patronize her shop except for the old customers. I asked her to make it now. It’s a pity that it’s not fresh out of the oven, otherwise it would taste better.”

Wei Yinniang stared at the cake in her hands, stunned for a moment.

Xuyu carefully handed the cake to Wei Yinniang.

“Sister, would you like to try it?”

Wei Yinniang still didn’t answer and didn’t respond at all.

Xuyu waited for a moment, and with a feeling of loss welling up in her heart, she slowly put the cake back in her hand.

“Sister.”

She finally called out “Wei Yinniang”.

“I see.

“Perhaps I shouldn’t say this. But really, in my heart, I still hope that one day you can take me to eat sesame cakes, fresh from the oven, and you can tell the lady to sprinkle more sesame for me…”

She suppressed the emotions welling up in her eyes, stopped talking abruptly, and put on a smile.

“I have to go now.”

She nodded to Wei Yinniang and turned to leave in a hurry. At this moment, she heard a voice behind her.

“Wait a moment!”

Xuyu turned her head and saw Wei Yinniang looking at her with tears streaming down.

“You guessed right,” she whispered.

“Master Pei has gone to see His Highness. His Highness may know something about the Battle of Beiyuan, and believes that the person who manipulated it was His Majesty. He should have told Young Master Pei what he knew…”

She closed her eyes, tears streaming down her face.

“That’s all I know. Go ahead, Princess.”

Xuyu stared at her and said word by word: “Sister, thank you.”

After coming out, on the way back to the palace, Xuyu and Zhao Zhongfang rode in the same carriage.

She tilted her head slightly, leaned on her companion’s shoulder, closed her eyes, and did not move.

Her companion didn’t say a word, only patted her arm gently, as if she was still the little Princess Zanxing when she was a child, and they were on the way back to Prince Ding Mansion, while he was coaxing her to sleep when she was tired from playing.

When the palace clock struck fourth watch, Xuyu returned to the palace and came to the outside of Ziyun Palace.

Yang Zai’en, who was on duty tonight, reported that after retiring for the night, the emperor, perhaps due to his coughing, was unable to sleep. He rose again and began reviewing the numerous memorials hastily submitted as the emperor was about to leave the capital.

“Young master, please go in and persuade him. His Majesty will listen to you.” Yang Zaien said softly.

Accompanied by a few coughs, faint candlelight could be seen coming from behind the door of the bedroom.

“Hao’er?” Suddenly, the emperor’s voice was heard from the vihara.

Xuyu pushed the door open, walked in, and stopped beside the emperor, who was sitting on the couch in his robe, reading memorials by candlelight.

“Why aren’t you going to bed yet? Father just heard the fourth watch drum.”

The emperor glanced at her, asked, and then moved the memorial in his hand closer to the candlelight to see it more clearly.

“Father, didn’t you say last time that as long as I want to be a princess again, I can do it at any time?” Xuyu said directly.

The emperor’s eyes, which were originally narrowed as he read the memorial, were stunned, and then he slowly turned his head towards her.

Yang Zai’en, who was standing at the door of the vihara, also heard it. He was so happy that he looked at the old eunuch beside him. However, he saw that the old eunuch was looking at the princess in front of him with a serious expression, and did not seem to be very happy. Yang Zai’en could not help but feel a little puzzled.

“Have you thought it through?”

After a moment, the emperor asked, his tone seemed to contain a hint of disbelief.

“Yes. I have thought about it.”

Xuyu met the emperor’s gaze.

“I want to be a princess. After we go to Cangshan, Your Majesty can ask me to be a princess again.”

She said in a steady voice.

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